Boston Cream Pie

Keeping up with the Polar kick and after a surprising turnout with the Mint Chocolate Chip I decided to try Boston Cream Pie. This was definitely one of the worst things I have ever put in my mouth. It is indescribably  disgusting. Possibly mixed into some kind of white russian or mixed with straight Kahlua It would be palatable but I feel like all you would be doing is trying to hide the flavor. The best way to make this taste delicious would be to get out all the ingredients for a mudslide, whip one up, crack open your bottle of Cream Pie and pour this crap straight down the drain and enjoy your normal sweet treat while thinking up ways to make the seltzer pay for existing. (you could pour it in the toilet or blow it up with C4, or just dump it on people you hate) There is nothing about this flavor that goes with the crisp or bitter taste of seltzer. It just tastes like sad in my mouth.  on a positive note it smells good at first (when you don't know the wretched flavor that follows) like a cream soda lollipop (confusing but still pleasant) then you take a swig and the sweet smell without anything sweet just overpowers everything you thought might go well. It just taste like sour stale doughnuts with a hint of 4th degree burnt marshmallows.  Gentlemen, a word to the wise, I am not a fan of cream pie. 

- This seltzer had its not-so-sweet revenge on me for this. My cat stole the cap and so the OPEN bottle (mostly full due to its level of grossness) fell over onto my computer..... My computer survives but will now smell like this for who knows how long and the memory of its flavor will linger forever. 

Chocolate Mint

Here again with another Polar seltzer MINT CHOCOLATE. It's part of their winter limited edition so obviously I should drink it in the summer. Now when I opened the bottle of this strange little flavor experiment I half expected Frankenstein's monster to bust through my wall yelling "MINT CHOCOLATE BAAAAD" but no such luck. Somehow I enjoyed the taste but it's really hard to get over how it really has that chocolatey, savory, creamy flavor in a seltzer (like how bubble gum flavored foods just seem weird when you always got yelled at to spit out your gum). The seltzer almost tastes like Andes mints which is delicious but weird to drink. I really expected it to taste more like dark chocolate than milk chocolate but it just doesn't. I think that might have been an easier flavor to swallow. However, the natural bitter taste of seltzer went really well with the chocolate flavor and the mint was clearly there but not overpowering (left a nice subtle mint aftertaste too). If you want something refreshing this probably isn't it but if you're in the market for the unusual (sorry I'm taken) then this is your beverage.

Cucumber Melon

Starting off simple here with Polar melon flavor. While my melons certainly don't taste like this it was actually really good. The flavors were fresh (although slightly artificial tasting like melon flavored candy). It was almost an expected flavor for seltzer, crisp and reminds you of sweetness without actually being sweet. I don't know how well it would work in a cocktail because the flavors were (though bold in their own right) very quiet compared to alcohol (maybe with a good vodka it would be a nice one for summer but you would really have to be into the flavors of both). Whatever the case who doesn't love nice fresh tasting cucumber with melons? Definitely worth trying if you are looking for something new.

And So it Begins

Hello,
I'm a strange and unusual person so I thought it would be fun to review strange and unusual seltzer waters. Thats right just what you have been waiting for your whole life a random persons opinions on flavored seltzer! But, really there are some weird ones out there and I'm willing to try them. So if you are reading this right now and you know of some really freaky or unusual flavors be sure leave a comment!! I'm keeping it safe here with my choice of strange oral consumables (going with the sugarless bubbly strangeness I know and love) because you never know what's out there (like none of the readers ever noticed that "Steve Don't Eat It!" ended abruptly after the tree fungus post- well damn it I did). So any way, here we go!